hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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