He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
