I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
