You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
