i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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