worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
