I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
