you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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