And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
