What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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