I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
