he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
