how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
