Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He did a backflip because drugs
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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