i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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