So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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