After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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