using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize