Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
