You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
