Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
