I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
