Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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