i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
