she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
