dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
