tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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