Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
