listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
