I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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