I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You are a genius and a whore.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
