all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
