honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
