she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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