Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
