I just pynch a tree in the face
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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