end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
