haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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