he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
