Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
