Do you still have your period?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
