When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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