i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish I could teleport
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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