ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
