im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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