The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
