youre lurking in front of me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
jump out the window naked night went bad
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
