shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
