Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
