If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
