I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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