i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
