You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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