I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
