Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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