some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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