the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
