my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
