My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize