I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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